9 Steps to Experimenting with Passionate Kissing

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine” (Song of Solomon 1:2). The way we kiss reveals more than we realize. We have a saying that “You Tell Your Life Story When You Make Love” because everything that happens to you from the womb until now influences your sexuality and consequently your lovemaking style. Your life story can also determine how you kiss and how you’ll perceive your spouse’s kiss. Only 7 seconds of passionate kissing daily leads to a happy relationship.

7 Seconds of Passionate Kissing Daily for HAPPY rELATIONSHIPS

Most couples don’t have a problem with kissing. If they do, it’s usually because of a bad experience. We’ll show you 9 steps to experimenting with passionate kissing to add spice and intimacy to your relationship. So, it’s certainly worth your time to experiment! Enjoy.

Kissing styles fLAVOR EVERY KISSING EXPERIENCE

Also, David Schnarch, Ph.D. tells us, “Kissing styles flavor every encounter and reveals more than we think. There is:

• a soft, but electric kiss of a familiar lover,
  
• the hard kiss of passion,
  
• a breathy kiss of tasting and smelling each other,
  
• the gentle bite on the lip begging for more,
  
• a mushy, limp kiss of passivity and withheld eroticism,
  
• the perfunctory kiss on the way out the door,
  
• in contrast, a sloppy, wet kiss that triggers anger rather than passion,
  
• the rigid-tongued kiss of the mechanical lover,
  
• a smothering kiss of an overzealous spouse,
  
• and the empty kiss of a spouse who is not present.”

Remember that research states, only 7 seconds of passionate kissing daily will lead to a happy relationship. Now, let’s start to experiment with the 9 steps to passionate kissing.

9 Steps on How To Experiment with Passionate kissing

Step 1 – An Inviting Atmosphere

First of all the wife will take responsibility to initiate this experience and set the atmosphere. It would be best if this was done in your living room where you can find a comfortable place to sit (couch). The reason is most couples will get turned on and want to go further toward sex, but we want you both to enjoy this experience without pressure. Prepare the room with soft lighting and music, and maybe diffuse some essential oils like Ylang Ylang or Lavender. Again, only seven (7) seconds of passionate kissing daily leads to a happy relationship.

Step 2 – There Is No Nectar Without Cleanliness

Also, believe us when we say; your spouse is expecting you to brush, floss, and gargle before doing this exercise! In fact, one of the most common complaints we hear from wives is them telling us their husbands are coming in for a kiss with bad breath or they are unshaven with body odor. Yuck! Do your lover a favor and put a high priority on grooming and hygiene. Even more, women have a stronger sense of smell, so what may not seem like a big deal to you is a turn-off for your wife.

Step 3 – First Things First. Read This Intimacy Experience In Its Entirety

Therefore, read over this Intimacy Experience together before starting. It’s always a good idea to know where you’re going and how you’re gonna get there.

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Step 4 – Communicate How You Like to Kiss Passionately

Above all, while sitting on the couch, fully clothed, each of you should describe to the others how you like to be kissed and how you like to kiss the other. Use positive descriptions rather than listing what you don’t like. Reflect back to the other what they’re saying. Agree to not proceed toward any other physical contact so that you can enjoy this present moment with your spouse. It’s remarkable to think that only seven (7) seconds of passionate kissing daily leads to a happy relationship and marriage.

Step 5 – Experiment With Kissing

First, the wife will use her lips to experiment with kissing her husband’s lips. Pucker your lips and gently peck across your spouse’s lips and cheeks from one side to the other, from top to bottom lip, etc. Take time to nibble on your spouse’s lips, taking the upper or lower lip between your lips. The husband will follow her lead. Therefore find the balance between being passive but responsive.

Step 6 – Reverse Roles

Similarly, you will reverse roles. Now the husband will follow step 5 in discovering how he likes to kiss. Again, the wife should follow his lead and be passive, but responsive.

Step 7 – Experimenting with Your Lips and Tongue

Furthermore take turns leading and experimenting with the use of your lips and tongue to find ways that you both enjoy, pecking, nibbling, licking, sucking, and in any other way while interacting with each other’s lips or tongues. Keep it soft and experimental.

Step 8 – Mutual and Simultaneous Enjoyment

Finally, allow the involvement with each other’s mouths to become a mutual, and simultaneous experience of enjoyment. If it is comfortable for both of you take turns inserting your tongues in and out of each other’s mouths. If one of you becomes too intense, or it feels forceful to the other, gently remind the intense one that you’d like to keep it soft, safe, and experimental. But if intense and forceful is your thing feel free to do that!

Give Your Spouse the Gift of
Romance for a Lifetime

If you love doing this intimacy experience, imagine having 72 of them to do with your spouse that can be done in the privacy of your own home over a 6 month period of time with our Divine Desire Foundational Married Edition and our Divine Desire Advanced Married Edition. We also have a 3-month protocol for engaged couples.

Step 9 – Talk About the Experience

Certainly, the solution to overcoming intimacy problems is taking care of your own heart (not being hard-hearted or heartless), but taking your emotions to the Lord so He can minister to and heal you, rather than requiring those things from your spouse. Stay focused on who you are in Christ and don’t try to get your identity from your spouse.

Listen to each other without thinking about how you’re going to respond, but be as present as you can for your spouse while they’re sharing.

What are they trying to convey to you? Confirm, clarify, and expand in your own words what your spouse is saying and refrain from judging their communication. Also, make sure you’re both clear the message has been communicated and received accurately. The goal is only thirty (30) seconds of passionate kissing daily leading to a happy relationship.

Talking Questions

• The wife should begin speaking and answer these questions:
  
• Did you most enjoy leading or following?
  
  • What felt especially good? What barriers did you experience?
  • How would you like to enhance your kissing? The husband will listen and reflect back to her what she is saying. 
     
• As a result, when both are clear the message has been communicated and received accurately, reverse communication roles and the husband will communicate what he enjoyed the most.
  
  • How comfortable were you in the receiver and pleasurer roles?
    
  • Were you able to remain completely present in each of the roles? Using a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being present 90 to 100% of the time, 5 being present 50% of the time and 1 not able to be present at all, what number would you give yourself?
    
  • When you were the pleasurer how often were you able to do the experience for your own pleasure and enjoyment? Again, use the 1 to 10 scale with 10 thinking about pleasing your spouse, wondering if they were enjoying themselves, worrying if they were present and what they were thinking about or how he/she was responding a majority of the time to a 1 thinking about your own pleasure.
    
• When you were in the receiver role did the kiss feel mechanical, sterile or clinical to you?
  
  • Does the kiss feel relaxed or forced?
  • Did you feel pressure to respond to your partner’s kiss and encourage them?

What About Arousal?

• Are you feeling arousal at any time?
  
  • Did you try to get rid of it, enjoy it or leave it alone?
    
  • It will be easier to talk about arousal using the 1-10 scale.
    
  • Think of the scale in these terms: 1 is no arousal, a 2 or 3 is twinges of arousal that don’t remain constant, a 4 to 5 are low levels of arousal that stay constant, a 6 to 7 would be moderate levels of arousal that stay constant (at this point you don’t want the stimulation to stop), at level 8 you are out of breath if you had to talk, you are aware of your heart beating loudly and the blood rushing into your ears, at a 9 you are feeling very close to an orgasm, and a 10 is an orgasm being inevitable.
    
  • Remember that there is never any pressure to feel arousal or reach a certain point of arousal at any point in an Intimacy Experience.
    
  • We only have you use the scale so you can become aware of your own sensations and what arouses you and what does not. It is also important to communicate this to your spouse.
    
• Were you able to follow the Intimacy Experience as written or did you attempt to do something different or push the limits to more sexual activity?
  
• Did you feel the Intimacy Experience was generally positive, loving comfortable, sensual or did you feel your spouse was trying to hard to please you or trying too hard to become aroused?
  
• Finally, rate your anxiety level as the pleasurer and the receiver and the anxiety level of your spouse using a 1-10 scale with 1 being no anxiety and 10 being extreme anxiety.          

Studies show that couples who kiss passionately for 7 seconds or longer each day will have a happier marriage. There is not an expectation that it will lead to sex; they just enjoy the kiss. We have never seen a couple come to us for sex therapy who is kissing regularly and passionately!

7 Day Touch challenge

If You’re Doing the “7 Day Touch Challenge”
Day 5 & 6 will be the Hand and Foot Caress.