Give Your Lover a Sensual Head Caress

The head caress is a relaxing and sensual delight

Unfortunately, most couples get into a predictable routine. They start with a little bit of kissing, then move to sexual body parts and intercourse. All in the span of 5 to 30 minutes. This Intimacy Experience (that’s what we call all our intimacy exercises) can be reserved for gourmet lovemaking where you take 40 minutes to an hour to relish in and enjoy giving and receiving pleasure. Remember, some people pay big bucks for a massage that includes a head caress from a stranger no less. It’s about time married couples are giving head caresses to one another!

The head caress is more than a massage

Step 1- Initiate Experience and Set Atmosphere

The wife will take responsibility to initiate this experience and set the atmosphere. Make sure it is scheduled for a time when you both can have your hair messed up. Choose a location in which your spouse can be seated away from you. You can either do this while they sit in a chair and you stand behind them or have them sit in front of you while they lean back against you. You can also have the receiving spouse lay on the bed with their head at the end while the pleasuring spouse sits on a chair that has been brought up next to the end of the bed. Experiment with a pillow for comfortableness and access.

Step 2 – Get Comfortable and Relax

For this first time wear comfortable clothing without a collar. the reason for that is so both of you can be present and enjoy the experience rather than focusing on other things. LOL! The wife will be the first pleasurer and the husband will be the first receiver. You’ll then switch roles. You should be comfortably positioned and both able to relax. Read over this Intimacy Experience together so you have an idea of what you’ll be doing before beginning.

Step 3 – This is a Mutual, Pleasurable, Sensuous and Relaxing Intimacy Experience

The purpose of this experience is to create a mutually pleasurable sensuous and relaxing experience. The pleasurer needs to confirm your willingness to hear your spouse’s direction and desires during this intimacy experience. The pleasurer needs to focus on enjoying their spouse while listening to their communication and the receiver needs to focus on enjoying their spouse’s touch while gently and positively communicating their desires.

Step 4 – Follow the Procedures for a Caress, Not a Head Massage

• Pleasurer – Ask your spouse to tell you they are ready. Then communicate when you are placing your fingertips on their scalp. Begin with a light touch (wait for their direction to change the speed, tempo or pressure). Be mindful of the weight and pressure you are applying. Let your fingers sit for five seconds before moving them. (If your wife has long hair, fan your fingers out and get up under the hair to the root). In a circular pattern move your fingers slowly and gently over his/her scalp. Remember this is not a massage, but a caress.
  
• Receiver – Make sure you are comfortable and settle into the chair, bed or your spouse’s chest. Before the pleasuring, you can communicate what you think you might like. Refrain from using negative words like, “don’t, should, ought and not like that” etc. During the pleasuring, you can communicate how you may want them to change what they’re doing (be sparse with this). Tell them how you want them to do it “lighter, harder, more circular” etc. rather than telling your spouse how they’re doing it wrong. Take a few cleansing breaths and close your eyes and then tell your spouse when you are ready for them to begin.

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Step 5 – Talk With One Another

Remember, the solution to overcoming intimacy problems is taking care of your own heart (not being hard-hearted or heartless), but taking your emotions to the Lord so He can minister to and heal you, rather than requiring those things from your spouse.

Listen to each other without thinking about how you’re going to respond, but be as present as you can be for your spouse while they’re sharing.

What are they trying to convey to you? Confirm, clarify, and expand in your own words what your spouse is saying and refrain from judging their communication. Make sure you are both clear the message has been communicated and received accurately.

After you’ve finished and each of you have experienced both the receiver and pleasurer roles, discuss this experience, using the following talking questions.

Talking Questions

• The first receiver will share with the other what they enjoyed the most, and what was difficult:
  
  • How comfortable were you in the receiver and pleasurer roles?
    
  • Were you able to remain completely present in each of the roles?
    
    • Using a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being present 90 to 100% of the time,
      
    • 5 being present 50% of the time and 1 not able to be present at all, what number would you give yourself?
      
  • When you were the pleasurer how often were you able to do the experience for your own pleasure and enjoyment?
    
    • Again use the 1 to 10 scale with 10 thinking about pleasing your spouse, wondering if they were enjoying themselves, worrying if they were present and what they were thinking about or how he/she was responding a majority of the time
      
    • to a 1 thinking about your own pleasure.
      
    • It is positive to think about your spouse in terms of how their skin feels to you etc.
      
  • When you were in the receiver role did the touch feel mechanical, sterile or clinical to you?
    
    • Did it feel like a caress or a massage?
      
    • Did you feel pressure to respond to your partner’s touch and encourage them?
      
  • Did you feel arousal at any time? Did you try to get rid of it, enjoy it or leave it alone? It will be easier to talk about arousal using the 1-10 scale.
    
    • Think of the scale in these terms: 1 is no arousal, a 2 or 3 is twinges of arousal that don’t remain constant,
      
    • a 4 to 5 are low levels of arousal that stay constant,
      
    • a 6 to 7 would be moderate levels of arousal that stay constant (at this point you don’t want the stimulation to stop),
      
    • at level 8 you are out of breath if you had to talk, you are aware of your heart beating loudly and the blood rushing into your ears,
      
    • at a 9 you are feeling very close to an orgasm,
      
    • and a 10 is an orgasm being inevitable.
      
  • Remember that there is never any pressure to feel arousal or reach a certain point of arousal at any point while doing an Intimacy Experience.
    
    • We only have you use the scale so you can become aware of your own sensations and what arouses you and what does not.
      
    • It’s also important to communicate this to your spouse.
      
  • Did you follow the Intimacy Experience as written or did you attempt to do something different or push the limits toward more sexual activity?
    
  • Did you feel the Intimacy Experience was generally positive, loving comfortable, sensual or did you feel your spouse was trying to hard to please you or trying too hard to become aroused?
    
  • Finally, rate your anxiety level as the pleasurer and the receiver and the anxiety level of your spouse using a 1-10 scale with 1 being no anxiety and 10 being extreme anxiety.
    
• The pleasurer will listen without thinking about how you are going to respond but will be as present as can be for their spouse while they are sharing.
  
  • What are they trying to convey to you?
    
  • Confirm, clarify, and expand in your own words what your spouse is saying and refrain from judging their communication.
    
• When both are clear the message has been communicated and received accurately, reverse communication roles and the pleasurer will communicate what they enjoyed the most and what was difficult using the same criteria.

You can do this experience again and try new ways of doing it. Instead of doing it clothed, try not wearing shirts (laying a towel or sheet over the wife’s breasts) and caress the neck and shoulder area as well.

Congratulations!

You did it! You’ve completed the “7 Days of Touch Challenge.” Since you’re on a roll why stop here, purchase our Divine Desire online video course here and continue the challenge for 12 weeks. You’ll get 39 more Intimacy Experiences with step by step directions just like this. And guess what? You only do three Intimacy Experiences a week instead of 7. Whew! We know you’ll be successful cause you did 7 days in a row!

GIVE YOUR SPOUSE THE GIFT OF ROMANCE
FOR A LIFETIME

If you love doing this intimacy experience, imagine having 72 of them to do with your spouse that can be done in the privacy of your own home over a 6 month period of time with our Divine Desire Foundational Married Edition and our Divine Desire Advanced Married Edition. We also have a 3-month protocol for engaged couples.