Do You Need To Be Intimate Now? Listen To Heartbeats!

There’s something rather primal about listening to your spouse’s heartbeat. Perhaps, it’s because we heard our mother’s heartbeat for 9 months in the safety and security of her womb long before the pain in this world imprinted upon us. Therefore, be intimate and listen to heartbeats.

Listen to heartbeats while being close will Bring a sense of peace to relationships

Listening to your spouse’s heartbeat can make you feel safe and secure now too. At the very least, listening to your spouse’s heartbeat will bring a sense of peace and relaxation.

Perhaps, it can also remind you that they are separate from you. That they too have a heart that can experience love and give love. It can help you to experience the feeling of being one but separate as well.

When To Use listening to heartbeats

In our current intimacy coaching practice, (we formerly had a sex therapy counseling practice in Colorado Springs) we always advised a couple that if either of them are judging their own performance, feeling a pressure to perform for the other, or get triggered in any way from the sexual behavior that is happening in the moment that they should stop the lovemaking session (yes, it won’t kill your spouse to stop a lovemaking session) and vocalize what your experiencing. Therefore, be intimate and listen to heartbeats as a way to calm your soul.

Sexual Trauma

This is especially useful when one spouse has been traumatized sexually in the past. Rather than pushing through it, or ignoring those feelings and pushing them down, which by the way, often causes more anxiety and triggers they can come to this safe place until the trigger has passed or they need to receive more healing from the Lord (there are specific ways we do that in our coaching practice).

Do you need security and safety now? Therefore, when triggered be intimate and listen to heartbeats as an effective tool!

Another way is going through the “God’s Intimacy Prayer” course to receive healing from the Lord. To find out more about click here.

Steps to Listening to Heartbeats to be intimate

Step 1 – Set Atmosphere

One spouse (usually the one who needs more safety) will take responsibility to initiate this experience and set the atmosphere. Make sure it is scheduled for a time when you and your spouse can relax. Perhaps, right before you go to sleep.

Step 2 – Be the Initiator

The initiator will comfortably position themselves alongside their spouse and lay their head on their spouse’s chest. The other spouse should not caress them but simply hold him/her. They can also silently pray for their spouse. Do this for five minutes. Make this a safe that we were talking about.

Step 3 – Switch roles and be the Receiver

Step 4 – Pray

Pray aloud together. The husband can also take authority over the enemy for his wife, and their family too. For more information about how to do that click here.

Be creative, you can do this if you are triggered during a lovemaking session, or before bed as suggested above, but you can also do this before or after lovemaking to bring a sense of oneness and intimacy to your afterglow.

Step 5 – Talk To Each Other

Remember, the solution to overcoming marriage or relationship problems is taking care of your own heart (not being hard-hearted or heartless), but taking your emotions to the Lord so He can minister to and heal you, rather than requiring those things from your spouse.

Listen to each other without thinking about how you’re going to respond, but be as present as you can be for your spouse while they’re sharing.

What are they trying to convey to you? Confirm, clarify, and expand in your own words what your spouse is saying and refrain from judging their communication. Make sure you are both clear the message has been communicated and received accurately.

Eye to Eye Discussion — **Discussion Is Best Eye-to-Eye**

Talking Questions

What did you enjoy the most, and what was difficult?
When you were listening to your spouse’s heartbeat, what was happening inside of you, does it feel forced, or do you feel controlled or fearful that you are being too intimate or vulnerable?
Were you able to relax for yourself as well as listen to your spouse’s heartbeat?
Did you bring anything to the Lord?
You may want to journal your reactions so you can see any changes in the movement towards one another while staying differentiated over time.

Do You Need To Be Intimate Now? Listen To Heartbeats!